Tell Me I'm Your Good Girl: Praise Kink in Romance

Tell Me I'm Your Good Girl: Praise Kink in Romance

This kinky trope is fairly common and super popular lately.

It probably has something to do with late-stage capitalism and all of us being overworked, but I digress.

I’m talking about praise kink.

Praise kink is a relationship dynamic I like to use to explore different emotional facets of my characters — one full of trust, vulnerability, communication, and affirmation. Personally, I gravitate toward stories featuring praise kink because I connect with and love them as much as every overachieving, overworked, type A personality does. Let’s take a look at how praise kink works and discuss I include elements of it in my work.

What is Praise Kink?

Praise kink refers to an individual feeling aroused or pleasured by compliments or words of admiration from their partner(s). But the purpose of this kink goes beyond the physical act. It can boost self-confidence, promote emotional intimacy, and reinforce the bond between partners. Praise kink can also create a safe space for both partners to express their vulnerabilities.

What Makes Praise Kink a Hot Trope to Read (and Write)?

  • It deviates from traditional power dynamics to discover a refreshing angle in relationships where equality and mutual respect thrive.
  • It’s a way to explore a characters a emotional wounds, tying their back story to the present in a relevant way.
  • Emotionally charged, evoking a wide range of emotions in characters and readers
  • Encourages open communication and consent
  • Adds vulnerability and tender intimacy, heightening the overall romance of the story


The Lust Diaries

How I incorporate Praise Kink into my stories

Incorporating praise kink into a romance novel can take various forms depending on the characters, the plot, and the overall tone of the story.

Here are a few examples:

Character Development: I’ve written characters with a deeply ingrained need for affirmation stemming from their past experiences or inner insecurities. This character trait would naturally lead to a praise kink being displayed in intimate moments. 

Dialogue: I sprinkle a little praise into the dialogue during key intimate moments. It doesn’t mean it needs to happen during intimate scenes, though! For example, a character might express their admiration for their partner's strength, intelligence, or ability to do hard things during a scene that isn’t sexual can intensify the emotional connection.

Internal Monologue: I love to use a character's inner monologue to express their desire for praise. This can be done subtly, with the character thinking about how much they crave their partner's words of affirmation, or it can be Tomás mentally begging to be Darcy’s cub.

Conflict Resolution: Use praise kink as a mechanism for resolving conflicts between characters. One character might use praise and affirmation to assure their partner of their love and commitment, healing rifts and strengthening their bond.

Plot Development: I’ve used a scene where one character helps the other discover their praise kink. This could lead to a deeper understanding of each other's desires and an evolution in their relationship.

These are just a few tips and tricks I use to weave the praise kink into the plot and the characters' development. These can elevate the emotional intensity and make my characters more engaging and relatable.

Here are a few key elements I like to include when I’m writing this kink:

Most of my books have a kinky element, so I've used praise kink a time or twenty! It's one of my favorite kinks to incorporate in even the most vanilla scenes to kick the tension and intimacy up a notch. I also love how it opens the door for me to delve into human desires and explore topics that some may find taboo.

Character Development: The characters in the story should have depth and complexity, with rich and real emotions and desires that drive their actions and decisions. Their reasons for finding pleasure in praise should be thoughtfully explored, delving into the intricate nuances of their personalities and backgrounds. By presenting these motivations in a nuanced manner, the narrative can capture the depth of their experiences. 

Communication: Praise kink can be non-verbal, not for the most part, communication is where boundaries are created. For the story to unfold authentically, the characters must engage in open and honest discussions about their desires and aspirations. By doing so, they create a stage for a profound level of intimacy, where vulnerabilities are shared and deep connections are made. These heartfelt conversations not only provide insight into the characters' motivations and values but also allow for meaningful character development and interpersonal dynamics to take place.

Consent: Consent is sexy, and it's crucial to emphasize the significance of consent, showcasing that all characters actively and enthusiastically embrace the dynamic, ensuring a safe and respectful environment for all characters involved. By fostering open communication and establishing boundaries, the characters can create a positive and empowering atmosphere where their comfort and excitement intertwine harmoniously.

Descriptive Language: I use language that vividly depicts the scenes and the praises being given, and the character’s response to the experience. This is definitely a show, don’t tell moment where the character’s physical and mental reactions to the praise should be described in detail.

Character Progression: As the story unfolds and takes new turns, it is crucial for the characters and their relationship to evolve in sync. The exploration and incorporation of the praise kink into their emotional journey will not only contribute to their intricate development but also pave the way for the gradual deepening of their intimacy. I like to use this delicate interplay between their desires and vulnerabilities as a nuanced backdrop for their personal growth, allowing for deeper and more complex layers of connection.

Variety in Praise: It’s important to incorporate a wide range of praises. These praises can vary in their subtlety, with some being more nuanced and others more explicit. By providing a diverse array of praises, I get to fully grasp and appreciate the concept of the kink in all its intricacy and complexity and how my characters might respond to them.

Conflict and Resolution: To enhance the storyline and make it more engaging, I incorporate elements of conflict and resolution that are directly related to the praise dynamic. By introducing challenges and obstacles that the characters need to overcome, I can create a sense of tension and anticipation. As the story progresses, the characters can navigate through these conflicts, demonstrating their growth and resilience. This adds depth to the storyline and keeps the readers hooked, eager to see how the conflicts are resolved and how the characters evolve.

I think praise kink is a fun and filthy trope that can add depth and emotion to a romance. Writing romance isn’t easy- it takes courage and creativity, so if you feel like you can make use of these tips, go for it!

Here are a few praise kink novels that I loved:

Plié by A.H. Cunningham

She’s stopped believing there was a Dom out there for her that could match her mind and her kinks.

Aisha McKinney thought she had everything figured out: her dance school Mrs. Brown Dance Studio, was the best in her community, she had the support of her friends and family, and at night she indulged in her other…passions. But when her studio starts losing students and she has to turn to her sex work to keep the lights on, her life takes a turn for the unexpected.

He’s accepted this was all life had to give.

Knox Davenport had an orderly life. Work is expanding, his seven-year-old daughter is flourishing, and after a difficult divorce, he’s starting to explore his kink through dominant classes with an experienced submissive. But there is only one obstacle to his peace of mind. His daughter's Ballet teacher. Why does Aisha McKinney, the owner of Brown Dance Studio and her half-baked Holiday dance show, threaten to unravel all of his composure?

When Aisha and Knox’s goals converge, will they let their pasts dictate their futures, or will they both bend to the needs of their heart?

Cravings by Shon

Craving [krey-ving]

n. great or eager desire; yearning

How many can they satisfy together?

Sugar, Sugar by Lady Marie

Tonight's Lessons:

1) Indulging your sweet tooth every once in awhile can be a good thing.

2) There's always room for a bit of negotiation in any agreement.

3) Sometimes giving into your desires, even for just one night, is exactly what the sugar daddy ordered.

This is Sage and Benjamin's story.

Don't Ever Wonder by Takeah Latimore

“You’re not just my wife. You’re my better half. Know it and believe it when I tell you I love you, Bugg. True shit, so don’t ever wonder otherwise.” – Ellington Shakur.

February 14, 2017, Ellington Shakur took his wife Eartha out to celebrate her favorite holiday. Not even halfway through the evening, an altercation ensues that changes the course of Ellington and Eartha’s lives forever.

Five years after losing her husband to the system, Eartha Shakur is having a tough time basking in the heartwarming feelings everyone around her is experiencing from Cupid’s arrow. When a confrontation at work leads to Eartha quitting her job, the Ohio native has to stop running from herself and embrace the possibility that maybe happily ever after wasn’t meant for her.

Ellington, however, has other ideas for the woman who makes his heart whole. Even behind bars, Ell plans to make this Valentine's Day one that Eartha will never forget in hopes that she still believes in their happily ever after.

The Say Yes Duet by Tasha L. Harrison

In Book 1, "Tomás Martinez" finds himself harboring a long-standing crush on Darcy MacFarland, his best friend's mother. He debates whether confessing his feelings during his best friend's wedding weekend would be appropriate or considered a party foul. He explores daring scenarios like offering himself to her and imagining worshiping her in ways he's fantasized about over the years. The narrative unfolds as Tomás faces the question of what might happen if Darcy responds positively to his advances.

In Book 2, Darcy MacFarland takes a bold and impulsive step by embarking on a journey to Costa Rica with Tomás, her son's best friend, after she says yes to his advances. As they find themselves in the beautiful and wild landscapes of Costa Rica, their connection deepens. Darcy discovers unknown aspects of herself, and Tomás envisions sharing kisses with her under all thirteen waterfalls in the country. However, they know they can't hide forever, and they face the challenge of revealing their relationship to their friends and loved ones, raising questions about whether what they've built can withstand the test of time and scrutiny.

The Hitman by Katrina Jackson


What would you do if you found out that your fiancé cheated on you the night before your wedding with a reality tv exotic dancer? What if you found out that they'd had a threesome with your best friend, who was also your maid of honor? What if you discovered all of this on the morning of your wedding with a camera for your own reality tv show pointing at your face?

Let me tell you what I do.

I punch her. I punch him. And then I run away to Italy on what should have been my honeymoon alone, with my ex's stolen credit cards.

I just want to drink all the wine and cry myself to sleep at night, but I can't even do that in peace.


I deserve this holiday. I worked hard for it. I killed for it. Literally. But the woman next door won't stop crying and it's keeping me awake at night. When I go to confront her... Well, let's just say things don't go to plan. Not that I'm complaining.

And I know my life is chaotic, but even I can't predict the armed man who shows up to kill me or the fact that I've somehow ended up on the run with the weepy goddess from the penthouse suite. It's a mistake to bring Zahra along, but I want to keep her safe. I want to keep her with me. Also, try as I might, I can't tell her no and mean it.

Besides, I'm beginning to suspect that I might have the guns, but I'm not running this show; she is, and she's damn sexy while doing it.


Mentions of domestic abuse

Mentions of child abuse


Shooting deaths

Praise (Salacious Players' Club) by Sara Cate

He calls me perfect.

His flawless pet.

His good girl.

Broken down and wounded by my emotionally neglectful ex, I wanted someone to tell me I was good enough.

Then, I stumbled into a new job with a boss who brings me to my knees—literally. He has me do things a real secretary would never do.

Emerson Grant tells me I’m more than just good enough.

I’m worthy of his praise.

There are a million reasons why I should stay away. The owner of the Salacious Players’ Club is not just my new boss, he’s twice my age.

And my ex-boyfriend’s father.

With him, I am treasured. I am adored. I am his.

I’m a good girl, but I’m falling for the wrong man.

Emerson Grant knows what he wants—

And he wants me.

So how far will I go to hear his approval?

The Lust Diaries

Entertainment columnist Yves Santiago finds love and other problems with her creative non-fiction editor Elijah Weinstein in THE LUST DIARIES.


The Lust Diaries chronicles the sweet, filthy, romance developing between Elijah and Yves.


The Lust Diaries: The Complete Series includes:


A Slant of Light (prequel short story)

In Her Closet, The Lust Diaries: Book One

The Shame in You--A Short Story

Everything She Never Wanted, The Lust Diaries: Book Two

Having it Both Ways, The Lust Diaries: Book Three

Neighborly (Erotic Accommodations Book 2) by Katrina Jackson

Heaven has been in love with her boyfriend Calvin since the day they met. The amateur boxer is perfect; kind, supportive and loving, the body of a god and sex so good she's willing to follow him any and everywhere. That's how they end up in a new town, renting half a duplex and ready to start their lives together. Their new apartment is perfect. Big enough to lay down roots, a backyard studio for her to work on her art, and a neighbor who inspires the naughtiest fantasies. Tasha and Stephen have a great life. They go to work, they come home, Stephen cooks and Tasha does the dishes. It's domestic bliss. And if there's something better than bliss, it's whatever Tasha feels the first time she lays eyes on her new tenant next door and the way Stephen's eyes glaze over in lust when she shares her fantasies. What are two taken women to do when the attraction is mutual, the wall between their bedrooms seems paper thin, and the men they love only want them to be happy?

Neighborly is the second Erotic Accommodations series.

Each book is a standalone story of erotic desire at your doorstep, or closer. Each book is a stand-alone.

Happy reading!


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