When it comes to femdom, I feel like there are endless possibilities for pleasure and exploration.
This trope is a honeypot as far as I’m concerned. While some enjoy more extreme activities such as bondage or heavy-impact play, others prefer a gentler approach that falls somewhere in the space between. Gentle femdom is a flavor of kinky power play where the focus is on pleasure and connection rather than pain, sometimes with a little humiliation thrown in for spice. It’s about embracing the intense feelings that come with the trust of being vulnerable with someone they care for deeply.
I’ve loved writing this relationship dynamic in my older woman/younger man story the Say Yes Duet. When they first begin their relationship, Darcy, my Domme, is a novice and Tomás is the eager submissive who couldn’t wait to get her up to speed. While the first book in the duet deals with their slightly taboo pairing, the second dives deep into the power/exchange dynamic. I liked having the roles switched and having the Darcy be the one who has to learn how to be dominant. The way I imagined it, it was a trait sleeping in her for most of her life because her reality was spent serving others. It actually never occurred to her that the dynamic could be flipped in a way that she could have her wants, needs and desires attended to first. Or that denying someone the immediate gratification while she took what she needed could be satisfying and pleasurable as well. Writing her was so much fun so I thought I would share the key elements I focused on while writing Darcy, the gentle femdom.
First, let’s define a Femdom romance:
Femdom romance is a subgenre of erotic romance where the femme character takes on the dominant role in a power exchange relationship. The term "femdom" stands for feminine domination, and it involves the femme character being in control of the physical and emotional aspects of the relationship. The masculine character is the submissive in this dynamic, surrenders control to the feminine character. Gentle femdom is another subset in which the femme-identifying partner practices dominance that doesn’t involve physical or mental pain, or include harsh punishments. Gentle femdom still explores power dynamics, but the focus is on sensuality, nurturing, and reward. It’s actually a great place for a newbie to start which is why I wrote Darcy that way.
Here are key elements for writing a good gentle femdom story:
1. Start with the basics of Femdom and BDSM - consent, roles, and expectations. Make sure to explain the concepts with respect and understanding of how both partners could benefit from power exchange. A lot of people find this boring, but in my opinion, kink should be a mindfuck and not just ticking off a list of activities.
2. Create characters who have both strength and vulnerability - This will allow them to be in tune with their own desires as well as their partner’s. It will also ensure that your story centers the emotional connection between them. Tomás as a submissive man isn’t a typical iteration of this archetype. Submission is a spectrum and doesn’t always need to be depicted in the most extreme ways to be valid.
3. Get creative! - Femdom focuses on sensuality, nurturing, and reward, but that doesn’t mean that you’re options are limited. There’s lots of options when it comes to writing feminine dominance: role play, bondage, sensation play, submissive sex positions, toys... the world is your oyster! Eat it!
3. Establish clear boundaries - If boundaries are established ahead of time each character can explore the dynamics without pressure or judgment. The basis of Tommy and Darcy’s relationship was trust and communication. Early in the second book, they make a promise to always put that first, no matter how difficult it was for them to be honest with each other. That boundary, along with Tommy’s list was an important aspect of the narrative. I’m not saying you have to do it in the same way, but definitely have your characters talk about their hard and soft limits. If they make a declaration that they have none, have your gentle femdom elucidate the reasons why they should.
4. Introduce an element of suspense while maintaining a gentle tone - this will make the story more engaging while still being respectful to all involved. I don’t mean murder or danger or intrigue (though you can have those things, too). What I really mean is a the tension between your submissive character getting what they want and how much the Domme plans to give them. This kind of play is often illustrated in a touch and tease, which I ramped up 1000% percent for Darcy and Tomás.
5. Include aftercare - Femdom stories (all kinky stories, really) should show that there is a close bond between partners, even if it is not always traditional or sentimental love. Focusing on aftercare helps show this connection and emphasizes understanding and tenderness between characters at all times. This is honestly my favorite part to read in any trope. Love those quiet check ins after the characters have a had an emotionally raw moment with each other!
By exploring femdom in a gentle way, both partners can enjoy intense pleasure and trust the other person to take care of them during the journey. With open communication, mutual respect, and understanding, femdom play can be incredibly enjoyable to read and write. It’s a trope that’s rarely explored in erotic romance, but I hope to see more of it!
If you’re curious about the gentle fem-dom trope, check out the Say Yes Duet. Tomás would definitely beg Darcy to step on him.
If you’ve read the duet, make sure you download Pegging Her Fiancé! I would give you a description but I think this is self-explanatory!
Here’s a list of Femdom stories to try after you read mine😉:
Meant For You (The Kinky Matchmaker Book 1) by G.L. Tomas
Finnish investor Olli Tuominen was supposed to be marrying the woman of his dreams—but the day of the wedding, he's hit with the hard reality. In the eyes of the law, and on paper, he's still married to his first wife Benny. Walking away from a love like hers had always been difficult, but serving her divorce papers proved even more obstacle. Still the enchanting beauty he remembered her to be, his first love might still harbor a fire that can't be extinguished.
Bendicíon Obiang thought she'd never see Olli again. She certainly didn't plan after an eight-year estrangement that the reason he'd re-enter her life was to confirm her deepest fear. Her only true love was moving on. Could this happenstance reunion be the push she needs to finally reveal the truth after all this time? That they share a child?
Reuniting face-to-face should’ve been simple. Sign the divorce papers. Wish him happiness on his new life. Go back to California. Only a Nordic snowstorm has other plans for the past lovers; plans that include Benny on her knees succumbing to Olli's dominance.
It only takes one weekend to make two things perfectly clear. The former submissive was always his to claim, and the secret she's been keeping might just be the thing that breaks him.
This story features a BWWM couple with no cheating and a HEA. This read is steamy and spicy featuring a dormant Dominant who reunites with his former submissive and despite what you take from the blurb, features NO CHEATING! If Dominance and submission isn't your cup of tea, sit this one out, but for those that enjoy it, this quiet, grumpy Alpha knows how to melt his way into your heart.
At Her Feet by Rebekah Weatherspoon
During a night of Web surfing for celeb gossip and masturbatory material, digital marketing producer Suzanne Kim stumbles across an intriguing thread while checking her profile on kinklife.com. Suzanne isn’t exactly looking, but the request for a very specific type of submissive from the attractive mistress, Mami-P, is hard to resist. Though the two hit it off during their first online conversation, Suzanne never imagines how strong their real-life attraction and compatibility will be. After a few missteps in training, trust, and communication, Suzanne finds a deep love with her mistress, Pilar.
Overworked and overstressed in her daily life, Suzanne comes to crave their relationship for the visceral escape it provides, but before they can make the ultimate commitment, someone from Suzanne’s professional life threatens to disrupt their perfectly balanced bliss.
The Enforcer by Katrina Jackson
Zoe
What should you do when your boyfriends try to spring a baby on you? Fight and then leave.
What should you do when the old women in your family want to know why your sister has gone MIA in Italy? Tell them you are not, actually, your sister’s keeper, but then remember that you’re never old enough to talk back.
So that's how I end up in Naples with my cousin Shae, who is acting very strange, a broken heart, and no real plan besides finding my annoying little sister, Zahra.
But then I meet Alfonso.
Alfonso
Being Salvatore's bodyguard is the perfect kind of danger, but the past few months have been a bit much even for me. My partner in literal crime, Giulio, returned from his vacation with Zahra and now the two are nearly inseparable, and the responsibility of keeping everything in order has fallen to me.
But when Zoe bursts into the restaurant (and my life), Salvatore goes rogue, and there's another assassination attempt, everything goes to shit rather quickly, so I go home to Positano to regroup.
While hiding Zoe in my family's hillside home, I have to fight my growing attraction to her while convincing my mother and brothers that this woman I barely know is the love of my life.
I would have preferred a gunshot wound.
Content Warnings
- Physical fights
- Gory descriptions of fighting
- Murder on the page
- Ableist language
Lush Money: A Royalty Romance (Filthy Rich Book 1) x Angelina Lopez
A marriage of convenience and three nights a month.
That’s all the sultry, self-made billionaire wants from the impoverished prince.
And at the end of the year, she’ll grant him his divorce…with a settlement large enough to save his beloved kingdom.
As a Latinx woman, Roxanne Medina has conquered small-town bullies, Ivy League snobs and boardrooms full of men. She’s earned the right to mother a princess and feel a little less lonely at the top. The offer she’s made is more than generous, and when the contract’s fulfilled, they’ll both walk away with everything they’ve ever wanted.
Pr’ncipe Mateo Ferdinand Juan Carlos de Esperanza y Santos is one of the top winegrowers in the world, and he’s not marrying and having a baby with a stranger. Even if the millions she’s offering could save his once-legendary wine-producing principality.
But the successful, single-minded beauty uses a weapon Prince Mateo hadn’t counted on: his own desire.
Filthy Rich
Book 1: Lush Money
Book 2: Hate Crush
Book 3: Serving Sin
Hers to Cherish by Meka James
My birthday had always passed without much fanfare. As an afterthought is how I’d lived most of my life. Until Her. Mistress reminds me I’m important. She reminds me that I matter. But tonight, She’ll do more. Tonight, She’ll show me that I’m hers to cherish.
(This one is FREE)
Candy: A Curvy Girl Femdom Romance (Naughty Confections Book 1) by Torrance Séne
Camming is her little secret…
Between the small town she can’t escape and the life she wishes to live, Candace has found an outlet in the digital world. In front of the camera, Candy can escape the pressures of her family’s bakery and play at life on her own terms. Freedom has never been so sweet.
He just wants someone to take control…
Miles’s life has become increasingly chaotic. Returning to the hometown he hasn’t seen in over a decade, he’s caught between family angst, anxiety, and work stress. Soon his online playtime isn’t enough. He longs to let go and find someone to hold onto.
When their lives collide offline, can these former classmates take a second chance and find balance together in their seemingly diverging paths?
Candy is a standalone erotic romance featuring femdom, baked goods, and kinky scenes. First in a new series!
Stitched Together Erotic Gentle Femdom AMBW Romance Novella by Nirvana Leeona
Kaliyah Jackson, a strong and independent woman, embraces her polyamorous nature and the freedom it provides. Benjamin, a successful entrepreneur, offers stability, loyalty, and unwavering support. Jae, a charismatic social media marketer, captivates her with his creativity, spontaneity, and intense passion. Their contrasting personalities and diverse cultural backgrounds add layers of depth and richness to their connection with Kaliyah.
As Kaliyah's birthday wish hangs in the balance, tensions rise, and the boundaries of their relationship are tested. Jealousy, insecurity, and the societal pressures of monogamy threaten to unravel the fragile harmony they've built. Will Kaliyah's longing for a unified celebration bring them closer together or push them further apart?
Author's Note: This novella contains mature themes and is intended for adult readers. It includes BDSM themes, pegging, and gentle femdom.
Happy reading!
xoxo,
Tasha