Things can begin at an ending...

This is a fact that is becoming obvious to me as the minutes pass into hours. I’m sitting in some backwoods police station answering questions for a group of police officers who can't believe that I have nothing to do with this murder-suicide. When they ran my name my past history with Lisette surfaced. Once again she is that dark mark on my past trying to taint my present. I answer their questions. I tell my story. I tell Eduardo's story. Through the whole ordeal, the Other is quiet. I don’t even feel him lurking at the edge of my consciousness anymore. After months of wishing he didn’t exist, I feel strange about his sudden absence. In fact, I feel a little abandoned. In the moment that I need him to dull the edges of reality, he decides to leave. I wonder if he’s gone for good or if this is just a reprieve until he feels the need to nourish his deviant palate again.

Eventually, the tide begins to turn and the homicide detectives realize that they have nothing to hold me on and finally release me. Outside the station, dawn greets me. It’s hard to believe that all of this happened in one night.

I get in the car and head straight for Miami. My body tells me that I need sleep, but that can’t listen to it. Something stronger is pulling me along. I am following my heart and my heart now belongs to Noor. I can only think of getting back to her. Being in her arms is the only thing that will wipe away the evidence of this night and what took place.

I have to take some responsibility for what happened. I know that I should have picked up on the fact that Eduardo was just as damaged as I am. That he was probably capable of doing something like this. In a lot of ways, I believe that this couldn't have ended any differently. I can't even bring myself to imagine what might have happened if Eduardo hadn't stepped in when he did. I would have easily fallen into her trap again. The snare was ready and waiting. The sad truth is that this time I probably wouldn’t have come out on the other side. I could have easily been Eduardo, killing the thing I love most just to be free.

When I pull into my Mother's driveway around mid morning, I find Noor waiting for me on the steps. I haven't bothered to change. Lisette and Eduardo's blood is still on my shirt and somehow that seems fitting. She needs to see the evidence that it is over. She needs to see that she no longer has to worry about my past threatening what is now between us.

Noor runs to me and takes me into her arms. This time her hands do not tremble. This time she is sure of her touch.

"Let's go home," she whispers in my ear. 

I hold her tight, feeling grounded and present in the moment for the first time in my life. "Home is anywhere that I am with you," I whisper back.



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